Theophany in Our Time

But there, in the shadowed corridors of the emergency wards, God is present. There, in the fragile moments of our existence, in the seconds between the moments, God comes to us. These are holy moments. They lack elemental power, but they are powerful, just the same.

---

We crave certainty. We long for affirmation. We want to know that we are heading in the right direction.

In Matthew’s story of the Transfiguration (Matthew 17: 1-9), three disciples find their beliefs affirmed, and it is a magnificent and terrifying moment. It begins as a simple journey; Peter, James, and John accompany Jesus into the mountains. Suddenly, though, it becomes much more: dazzling light surrounds Jesus, and Moses and Elijah step out of history and chat with him. Peter begins to ramble about pitching tents; this is simple hospitality, perhaps, but I think that mainly he is trying to cover his anxiety: Are we experiencing a vision, or are we going mad? How do we respond to this moment? Let us pretend we were expecting this. When a voice blasts out of the cloud, their response is quite natural: they drop to the ground in pure terror. No one is comfortable with a true theophany, or manifestation of the divine.

We would like that level of assurance in our day to day lives. We are sick of masks. We are terrified of vaccines. Our fragile rights hang in the balance and we cling to our resilience with both hands. Wars erupt, flames explode, hurricanes rip through our settlements with unprecedented violence, and now solar storms loom on the horizon.

We are angry. We should not have to face such troubled times. We deserve better. God has abandoned us, so we are justified in abandoning God. We are free to be ourselves.

 Recent experiences with emergency wards have taught me, however, that God is present in the darkness. God comes not with hymns or collars or books. The voice of God does not boom from the heavens. God comes in ways that evoke stables and straw.

For seven hours one night, I received a vision of the blessed mother, not in blue in a grotto with light and rosaries. She was a true Madonna, my Madonna of the shadowed corridors, my Madonna in capris and t-shirt, my Madonna of the twisted braids. She paced the corridor, rocking her toddler, eyes on the child’s face.

For seven hours, she was alone. In former times, the nurses could see her sooner, but in these times, there are so many they must see. The Madonna knows this. In former times, someone could walk over and stretch out their arms, giving her a moment’s break. In these times, which are CoVid times, my Madonna stood alone. But then, the Madonna always stands alone.

In the haze of that night, as my anxiety rose, she paced, swaying, face close to her child’s. And peace washed over me.

I walked the hallway that night. There were stretchers in the shadows. A hoarse voice whispered in thirst. A hand emerged, offering ice chips; the voice was gentle. So this is what the cold cup of water in his name means. Someone will be there in the shadows, when the thirst is overwhelming.

And in another emergency ward, hundreds of miles away, a surgeon winds his way through the corridors. His long shift is over, and he longs to be with his family, but first he seeks out a young man, bewildered and in severe pain, so many miles from his northern home. The surgeon is gentle and welcoming; he explains things well and the young man relaxes. And hundreds of miles away, I give thanks for this angel that visited my son, and brought him comfort and hope.

We are weary of masks. We are terrified and we lash out.

But there, in the shadowed corridors of the emergency wards, God is present. There, in the fragile moments of our existence, in the seconds between the moments, God comes to us. These are holy moments. They lack elemental power, but they are powerful, just the same.
​
These are the moments of balance that show us that light in darkness is possible after all.